Long and indulgent 'get to know me' survey

In CASE anyone's interested.
which i doubt.

But i'm bored at work and these last 2 hours aren't going to just use themselves up now are they!

Do you have any pets?

The Evil ONe

I have an evil cat. He is mostly white, with some black splodges and his eyes are made of yellow bogeys and crumbled up ginger biscuits.

What was the last book you read?
The last book I read in full was Drop City, about a commune of hippie brothers and sisters that moves to Alaska to set up and be self sufficient. Hilarity drama ensues. The description is breathtaking and its sexy, funny and inspiring.
But I pick up and drop books all the time to dip into my favourite bits.

Do you like to cook?

I love to cook. Best of all with a bottle of red wine on the go and Planet Rock on. Alice Cooper = we are not worthy!

Wine, cheese and hair metal are an underrated combo.

What's your favorite food?

ALL food is my favourite food! Cheesy pizza is amazing.

 Lots of stodgy pasta smothered in grated cheese. Mexican food! Covered in… le fromage de gloriosity. Thick chunky chips.

Mushy pea fritters.

(i gather these are a southern-england only chipshop delight...? I love them!!)

And Roasts. drowning in gravy. What’s better than a roast? However I don’t eat meat. Because I love god’s creatures bitchez.

Do you have brothers and sisters?

I have a brother, 2 years younger and waaay bigger than me. He’s like one of those chav-trendy types that only dresses in labels, and drives round in my mum’s turquoise Corsa blasting dubstep. Hella badass blad.

Which sport do you like?

Don’t be silly.

Do you live alone?

I live with my parents. Which I admit is both bogussed and sad. But I’m heading back to university in September.

Do you live in a house or an apartment?

House.

Have you ever lived in another country?

Never have… well. Technically… Wales. But the only real difference is that ear / here and year are all pronounced exactly the same. Oh and instead of mate they say ‘butt’. Freaks.

Have you ever met a famous person?

Kings of Leon! Backstage at their gig. Yeah. no big deal. *dies a little inside swooning at the memory of breathing their secondary air*

How do you spend your free time?

Drinking. Regretting the drinking I did. Travelling, camping, adventuring. I couldn’t name 5 current tv programmes.
Well I could, but it would make me do involuntary sick down myself and I’m wearing my favourite coral colour today.


Tell me about a favorite event of your adulthood.

I think if I could narrow it down to one I would be entirely depressed.

Tell me about a favorite event of your childhood.

I think if I drunk less I may be able to remember.

What are your hobbies?

I jog. A desperados attempt to reverse years of liver abuse and mindless devouring of fats, sugar and most of all cheese.

Gram and Keith RIchards

I dream about Gram Parsons and what it was like to know him. I cook a lot. If I’m not cooking I’m probably eating, and if I’m not eating I’m definitely thinking about food.

What countries have you visited?

I interrailled the year before uni and did lots of Europ, I haven’t been outside Europ much, but once I went to America, to the smallest sleepiest town I’ve ever known, where you still write your bowling scored down with a pencil, because apparently the last 50 years aren’t something which happened there… It was a school skiing trip and it was absolutely amazing.


Which country are you from?

England.


What do you do on Sundays?


Sometimes I work. But the best days I have roasts.


What do you do? What's your job?


I work in insurance. I will go no further as it will either make me fall into a coma of boredom or smash the keyboard. Both of which would be detrimental to this fine blog.


What is your motto in life?

Everyone's a winner with brinner



I had a little think to try to establish if I have anything better than that in the locker room… but. No.

It’s a foolproof doctrine my brothers.

What kind of food do you like?

ALL FOOD! Haven’t we done this bit already?

What kind of people do you like?

People who like to laugh, and people who are funny. But not in that kind of… ‘I’m going to keep wisecracking until I burst a blood vessel somewhere, because people. Must. Like. Me!!’

That makes me feel exhausted.

People who are kind and interested in other people. People who are relaxed. People who live for drama make me want to poke them in the eyes with forks.

Which languages do you speak?

English. Franglish (read: bad French).

What are you best at?

Adopting stupid words and expressions and infecting everyone else’s minds and lives with them.

I am the reason my friends say om-e-ley (in a crap French accent) instead of omelette, the reason my bed is now christened ‘the bants bed’, and the reason everyone (myself included) now calls my dad ‘Big Mick’.

Who do you respect the most?

Malcom Tucker. Because fear seems as good a reason as any for respecting someone.

And my grandad. He’s gone now but his crazy sense of humour and dignity until the very end set the bar for the kind of person I want myself to be.

Who has had the most influence in your life?

My old Ma and Big Mickster.

As much as I hate to admit it I have a lot of respect and admiration for them.

Would you like to be famous?

Are you joking?

You know when people go ‘and if you listen closely… you will hear the sound of- nobody caring!’

Gosh I love that sound.

What do you think you will be doing five years from now?

Much the same probably but hopefully with more figures in my salary and chickINs and goats to look after.

Are you a 'morning' or 'night' person?

Morning I think… my enthusiasm to get up and show the day who’s boss often results in me
drooling and snoring my way through films in the evening.

When do you feel best? In the morning, afternoon, or evening?

I guess the afternoon… I like the bit when you put something rousing on your i-pod and strut out
of work like- TTYL bitchezzzz!

How many times did you move as a child?

Once, but only across town. The only thing I really remember about my old house is that once when I was about 3 a breeze slammed the front door on my nude feet while I was waving bye to my dad. And also once waking up and listening to the sound from across the hall of my mum doing the longest wee I have EVER heard.

What kind of woman/man would you like to marry?

I don’t plan to marry, but for a life-parner; One who respects me is the most important criteria. Someone who makes me laugh every day. Someone who will get drunk with me, who doesn’t want children either and would rather have chicken lickens, goats and a vegetable garden and spend our spare pounds and pence on adventures and journeys.

What cartoon character best describes you?

Dee-dee from Dexters Lab!

If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be?

Berlin!

the most amazing city. So much history and so much buzz going on.

If you knew you could try anything and not fail, what dream would you attempt?

What does this even mean?? most dreams I have are weird and scary, 2 nights ago I got shot in the side by Irish nationalist terrorists and before that I was a fugitive from the law in a stolen car and ended up at some kind of free love-in with aged hair-metallers in leather waistcoats with massive hair. They all humped each other and played led zep riffs while I hid from the po-lice.

None of this in real life. please.

What super-power would you most like to have, and why?

Bernards watch please! That little shitbag totally wasted the privilege of that watch! If you had unlimited time while everyone else was frozen you could basically fulfil pretty much any other dream you wanted. I WANT IT.

Would you live with someone without marrying them?

I’m not getting married so that’s going to be a given!

Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures?

Be in pictures. I have a theory on all the people spamming the world via facebook and twitter with millions of ‘look-at-me-gurning-I’m-having-SO-bloody-much-fun!’ type pictures… when you’re having the most fun ever why would your first thought be- must grab my camera and take millions of posed pictures of all this FUN going on!

{how awesome is this by the way??? find the full article at: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/photos}

Are you a beach, country or city person?

Countryside. I love the green, green grass of home. And I don’t think goats like sand.

Where do you spend most of your money?

In various food and beverage establishments shovelling and pouring sweet nectar and cellulite-enducing munchables down my ever-greedy gullet.

so tell me about you ..............