Well, this weekend i have surely outdone myself in disgusting untempered consumption of all that is braincell-bursting and cellulite-beckoning.
I would propose some kind of detox but if i was such a crushing bore as that i would probably just kill myself now and have done with it.
On Friday my freen D from home and Charlie came up to my uni house, we had a party in which i got entirely spangled on gin and monster energy, interspersed with bursts of tequila slammers with cinnamon and orange slices.
We watched Pink Floyd live in Pompei on a big projector screen in a room full of vile smog, and i ended up sitting like a spiral eyed deranged audience member in the basement at the feet of boys playing guitars and drums.
Saturday i woke up and vomited,
i must have still been drunk because i remember standing in the kitchen swigging juice from the carton and telling my housemates ‘i just puked pure coke. It was quite nice actually, sweet. Kind of like drinking coke but in reverse.’
They seemed disturbed by this particular piece of honesty, for some crazy reason…
After this my other friend arrived and we went to the German Christcringle market! which as it turns out, is an entirely dangerous place to drag a hangover to.
Drinking wheat beer and devouring various goods, all of which have been deep fried to within an inch of their life, will never Not be a good hangover cure.
Later was the Rum Diary and a homemade curry before crawling into bed, this time in actual pajamas (success!) and with makeup removed (double success, boom chica wah wah).
Today belonged to breakfast tequila, a fry up with cumin potatoes, a Caribbean Christmas fair, mars bar and toblerone flavoured fudge, ale and pies at the Hop, and my friends kidnapping me onto the train back home with them
(they had a spare free ticket due to their (read: Charlie’s) own stupidity which i am taking off their hands).
So i will now be home til Wednesday. I took exactly 13 minutes to confirm this plan and throw uncoordinated items into a bag.
Phone charger and makeup remover are among the things i have already noticed i’ve forgotten.
Stuffing my face with salt and vinny peanuts, dark rum, hurtling towards London and hoping for the best!
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