recruiting a PR

Me: i'm..... *kind of* a genius. but i don't like to brag.
except for when im being EXCEPTIONALLY STUPID anyway

Cat: but thats just a distraction from your immense cleverness

Me: I like you. i would like to employ you as my PR person. game?

Cat: i would do very well as a pr person. how much wld u pay me

Me: £4.50 a day + a fuck budy per day who will pay for all your food via dates / letting you eat breakfast off his stomach etc

Cat: sounds perfec

Me: the £4.50 is for other necessities such as tampons / shampoo / blockbuster fines etc.

Cat: may have to wax his stomach but im sure hell be into that

Me: i will pay all other costs such as going out / perving over Alec baldwin,
because i will be partaking in such activies also
and will need my PR person present for when I get ejected from cinemas for licking the screen etc
plus 2 weeks holiday
plus sick pay - in the form of lockets thrown at your face
lockets are quite expensive you know

ANYWAY stop rambling on at me you weirdo I have to go out!
I love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

also is it weird that Alastair Campbell gives me a total boner?

i have his diaries on audiobook and its like Fran from Black Books and the shipping report. *sigh*.