How to stick at an article when its SO unmanageably dull that your eyes keep sliding off the page...

This is like: my life. for all of times, at the moment. 


So here are my top tips to get you through this difficult time! It kind of only really applies if you're a politics (or maybe fashion) student... but nevertheless, heed these words of wisdom, 
and when you graduate with honours because you're so brill and go on to a life of success, be sure to please give me a job in your evil empire (i.e. food taster to check for poison or chair warmer plz). Chars!


1- gather all that you will need, and arrange it some kind of abstract design (to later kick and smash down when insanity sets in) around your desk. 
Close all your windows and nail up your door, we're doing this Rents' cold turkey-style

(Suppositories optional)

Be sure to put the nails on the wrong bit of the door so it will still open, otherwise the toilet situation might get tricky, and your children will forever have to stare up into the face of a man who once crapped into a takeaway bag. 

2- Drink coffee. Lots of coffee. Coffee until you can't remember who you are. 

As a test stare into a mirror, if you can cope with this without attempting to headbutt yourself = MORE. 

coffee is like liquid payattention.

3- Be horrifically rude, personal, bigoted and creepy towards absolutely everyone on your facebook, 

so that everybody deletes and blocks you

 and you are unable to waste hours of your life stalking people you completely hate and would run away from if you saw them in the street, in case they tried to be 'actual friends'   

4- develop deep admiration for a dubious career / personal role  model. 

Print off their picture and stick it somewhere prominent on your desk.

Blank out all dubious aspects of their personality and opt instead for creepily fixated love.

Stare at the picture (try not to get lost in their beautiful dead evil soulless Scottish eyes), think about how deliciously ruthless they are and remind yourself that they would not be sitting here questioning themselves, they

would be kicking that article's pages up and down the corridoors of power, laughing manically all the while.

With this deeply moving inspirado under your belt- back to the grindstone!

5- THIS.

Happy studies Malchickiwicks!